I would by no means consider myself old at 32, but I have recently been reminded of exactly how much I have changed, especially in the last 10 years. A few weeks ago, my 22 year old cousin moved in while she does a summer internship. The existing circumstances created a requirement of packing, moving furniture around and adding furniture so we could share a room for a few months. I have not shared a room with someone since college (well over a decade ago) so needless to say this has been quite an adjustment. Fortunately, Katie and I have similar interests and get along very well.
It is fun having someone to do spontaneous things with...movies, shopping, playing games, walking/hiking, late night ice cream sundaes, anything that strikes our fancy. It has been the process of reverting to these activities after so many years, that has made me realize how old I have become. I definitely have much less stamina than I used to. I love being spontaneous, but I have been challenged to balance the peace and rest that I have become accustomed to and the activities I am enjoying again. Late night now means crashing into bed at 10:30 or 11 and talking until we fall asleep, which doesn't take long for me (what happened to those effortless all-nighters?). I haven't had mixed drinks in years and have found that I really don't miss them. I have the attention span of a 2 year old for many lengthy activities, including vegging and watching TV (didn't I used to just crash in front of the tube and zone out for hours?). The snacks and ice cream go straight to my waist and hips in spite of my increased activity (boy do I miss being able to eat whatever I want!!).
Even worse, (and, sadly enough, this was a surprise to me) is that guys are looking again. Not at me, of course, at Katie. The first time it happened was on our trip to the Smoky Mountains last month. We took a side trip into Gatlinburg and weren't there even 5 minutes before a car full of nice-looking boys (and I have to emphasize boys in this instance!) almost turned their heads completely around to look at us as we walked down the main drag. After a moment of utter shock in this realization, a deeper level of shock settled in when I realized that it had been years since I have seen members of the opposite sex react in that way. And now it wasn't even in response to me ('unless', I couldn't help thinking, 'that they were wondering what a beautiful girl like Kate was doing hanging out with a homely whale of an "old" woman!').
Many things just aren't as exciting and interesting as they used to be. Many more things make me sad for the "good old days" and a bit depressed. Could it be that I am older and wiser? Or, am I just unknowingly aging more rapidly than I would ever have thought possible?
Over a Year
11 years ago